It's been quite a long time since I've written this things down here. I figured it might help. I don't think I'll be doing any of that formatting hullabaloo because... well... I think no one is listening. Or reading I guess. Maybe I'm wrong... if I am wrong I offer you my deepest apologies... but I'm still not really formatting this! I mean, I'll do punctuations and skip lines and stuff but I'm forgoing the whole section bits... why am I explaining this to you? You might not exist and I don't think you'd care if you do!
Point is, the new video series I've started on YouTube, "Unit Of Tyme" has to change. I've been thinking that for awhile now because... it's just too big in scope. I'm trying to cram too many things together and it's getting a bit... muddled. It bums me out because I really thought I was on to something this time but I think it's not unified enough to make it... and I just don't think I'm cut out for the whole "varied content" thing.
So I'm considering cutting out everything and just focusing on giving one fact in each episode. From there I can build the series out more... that's the only saving grace for me. The reason I did things the way I have, is because I wanted to always be interested in the shows I did as opposed to pretending it is the most interesting thing I have ever said. The problem there is, it is near impossible to be successful when you don't have a focus on YouTube. It's obvious to me that my personality and pluck isn't driving people to watch my videos!
So the plan I've come up with now is meant to cut the fat, as it were. If you haven't seen them it's a fact or a lyric or a question or a quote or a story or a game or... well, the list goes on... and it's continuing to grow! I'm adding so much to it... I guess because I think variation makes it more appealing. Yet what I hear all the time is how it's probably just confusing. It's not pulling people in and they don't want to keep watching. Which leads me to want to double down on the idea because I'm sure there's some way they connect... I guess I'm in them all... right?
Recently, I've even convinced myself that it is all about information and just getting different facts across. I think that's just a flimsy excuse to not change my videos though. I don't really like changing them as much as I do... I feel like I'm trying to find a place where I fit in and I have to admit that I just don't really belong anywhere.
That's a fear too. What if I change everything about me and I end up not being accepted anywhere on YouTube. I always feel like that... in any group, I feel like I won't stand out or be accepted. I know that's silly... most people deal with that every day and they get through it alright. Or at least mostly all right.
I think I took a bit of a tangent there... I just... I think I've got to change my series... because that will help it be successful. And that is my goal... I don't want to feel like a burden that people put up with. I don't want to feel like a lay about who can't really claim to have accomplished anything. I had hoped there was something in me that people didn't see that would lead to my success... like a uniqueness or trait but now I think... it's all about just giving people what they want and hoping I actually can.
I'm worried about that. Will I be able to give people the right facts that are actually useful? Is one fact a video enough for people? Do I have what it takes to make it something special? Can I do something to make it special without leading the series in a direction it wasn't meant to go? Most importantly... will anybody care? How will I know if they don't care or just don't see it?
I'm nervous. I don't know. But I can't just keep doing what I'm doing now... I need to do something worthy of doing. I'm sick and tired of just playing around though... my life needs to move forward if anything is going to happen.
It's funny, this was just supposed to be a blog about how I'm switching focus in my YouTube show. It went on longer than I thought... well, hopefully I'm writing more in a few months about how my series is doing better than I can imagine and I'm building a community and a life!
Thanks for listening while I vented.